These are all words that describe my current emotional state. Will I tell you why? No, not on here especially. I cannot justify going into that sort of detail on a blog. But you can know that these are all things that I am feeling right now. I'm torn, because though I have a legitimate reason for feeling these things, I don't at the same time. They aren't new, nor is the reason that I have them. But they are there and they loom over me like a constant threat and enemy ready to overwhelm me in ways I don't think I could handle. Even if I could tell you why I'm experiencing these things, I'm not sure why I would be able to adequately put it into words. I'm not as familiar with the English language as I need to be to tell you what it is.
How do I deal with them. I mean, there is always the God answer. You can always tell me to pray and rely on Him for all of these stresses and problems and to just give them to Him so everything will be okay. But I know that it will be okay. It's not that I'm not aware of that. I know that. But it doesn't make it any easier. Today was particularly stressful. It showed me a small taste of just how it will be. Can I change what will happen? Probably not, though I wouldn't give you a definitive no.
Even thinking about this problem just causes me to immediately dread and stress. Overwhelming. Absolutely overwhelming.
"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out."
-Anton Chekhov
Until next time....
Mark & Jen
15 years ago
Posts
1 comment:
I can only say that I know where you are, and God really is the answer. I can't lie and tell you that it's always easy to believe that or live that out, but its true. There is a place in Psalms(sorry for no exact reference) where David talks about feeling like he is going to be overcome by the things that pursue him, but he cries out to God because he knows God is his refuge. I think this is where we need to find ourselves. We need to accept that we cannot fix our problems our worries, our stessers- but the exciting thing is we serve a God who can! I hope this helps and I am praying for you. This is one of my pet struggles so I completely understand.
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