Trust. That word can be a four letter word to some of us (despite the fact it actually contains five letters....). It can make us feel vulnerable and scared, fully exposed to the person in which we choose to confide. That's not a good feeling...usually.
Some of us may long for it and seek it to the point that we would trust the man on the corner just so we could have someone on which we could unload our life problems. We simply wish to vent. We don't care who you are or how long we've known you. A simple "Hi, nice to meet you" could be enough. And while I don't hold the feeling that this is the best way to go about making friends, it certainly seems to be what a lot of us do.
So who can you trust? Who can be your "ventee?" This is not an easy question to answer but I'll do my best to explain my point of view on the topic. What I do see is that it is a process that should be done within a relationship. I disagree with just unloading your problems and trusting a complete stranger or someone with whom you have not built that type of relationship over an extended period of time. This is because I see that in that situation, though the person might be able to help shine some light on a core problem and help you see logically how it is you can deal with it, they will be completely detatched from the person as a whole. Now this can be seen as an advantage. After all, they will have an outside and non-biased opinion of what is going on. But this is one of the few actual benifits I see. Chances are, they won't truly be looking out for your absolute and complete best interest in the entire picture. Just telling the checkout guy at Walmart about your ignorant and insensitive fiance isn't going to get you anywhere. I mean, he could offer advice but he won't really be able to build a full and complete picture of the situation because he will not really know you or your fiance to be able to see how different things like your personality would affect and distort your view of what is truly going on.
Granted there can be a few exceptions to this rule. Though I don't think it is the best way to handle issues, going to someone like a therapist can truly help. It can give you not only a chance to show your mind to someone who doesn't really know you and therefore you don't really care what kind of judgements they make about your character based on the issue you are presented with. It gives you a chance to just unload on someone who you don't really care what their opinion is of you. But that can only take you so far. Eventually you have to get to the point where you're willing to work it out in your own life and in the lives of those around you who it is affecting. You can tell your therapist things all day, but when it comes down to it that will not really help until you take your own action.
Another person who is a lot like a therapist would be your pastor. This is another good choice in that he will not only give you a way to vent but will also be giving you God-centered, Biblical advise. Regardless of how you view Christianity, having a set of standards that has its roots in the Bible can only help you. If nothing else it helps to improve the way you interact with those around you.
Next along the ladder of people to trust are friends. Those closest to you who know you for who you are. They can see what the problem is. In truth, since they are your friends, they are usually being affected by this problem, though whether it is directly or indirectly is not a set factor. But in either case, whether directly or indirectly affected by the problem, they will be able to give you some of the best advice and actual help that you can get. This is because they KNOW you. They aren't just acquainted with you. And who is it that you ultimately end up going to when you're feeling down and out? Do you run to your therapist to cry on their shoulder? Certainly not. You go to those closest to you, which in most cases are your friends.
But lets say that they aren't the ones you normally confide in. Obviously another source of such love that friends show you but on a higher level would be your parents. Who could love you more (other than God of course but we'll get to Him in a moment)? They created you, gave birth to you, raised you, taught you, instilled their values and invested their lives in you. They have been involved since the very beginning. The love your parents will have for you will be so much more than anyone I have mentioned to this point. And what's more, it's usually unconditional. You could turn out to be a crazy serial killer, but they will love you nonetheless (though generally in this instance they would not approve). Now, granted, there are exceptions to this rule as well. Some parents will not care one way or the other about how it is you run your life. As far as they're concerned they would have been better off without you in the first place. This is always incredibly sad. Luckily, there is one more "parent" we can talk about.
You guessed it. It's God. The ultimate Father. The one who has promised to never leave you. The one who is there in the thick and the thin. The one who has limitless love, even more so than your parents. He is your protector and healer. And the thing about God is that He is all encompassing. He pervades all. When times become hard, He is there. When times are good, He is there. Unlike people, things can't "come up" with God. He always has time for His creation. That is the beauty of ultimately putting your unwavering trust in God. He won't misuse it. And He can truly say that He can promise nothing will distract Him or prevent him from showing His everlasting love to you. That is why He is God.
In conclusion, who can you trust? Well there is obviously the ones I just mentioned. But the most important one at the end. God. Without putting your trust in Him you will quickly be fooled into thinking that absolutely no one can be trusted, which is certainly not the case. Trust Him and what He is doing for you. Everything else will fall into place.
"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy"
-Walter Anderson
Until next time....
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